people who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can’t even finish the joke because they’re laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people
if you’re somewhere dark and scary and you think ‘this feels like the first five minutes of supernatural or a horror movie’ then start walking like a dinosaur for no apparent reason. because no-one in the first five minutes of supernatural or a horror movie would start walking like a dinosaur for no apparent reason.
The ultimate survive tip
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
you’ve got to be kidding me
I am in physical pain
do you ever wonder if u have a reputation like people u dont even know could have opinions about u
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can’t have anymore food and I’m just never ready for that kind of commitment